Let’s Be Real, Happiness Can Feel Like a Distant Memory Sometimes

When your sleep is garbage, your diet is a disaster, and your stress is riding shotgun every damn day, happiness isn’t just rare, it feels foreign.

As a first responder, it’s easy to get stuck in survival mode. You're constantly pouring out for others while your tank stays empty. And over time, that wears on you.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, and hormonally.

But here's the good news: your brain wants you to feel good. It’s wired for it. You’ve just got to give it the right signals.

Let’s break down your body’s “happy hormones”.  What they are, what they do, and how you can get more of them pumping, even on the hardest days.

1. Dopamine – The Reward System on Steroids

Dopamine is your brain’s “atta boy” chemical. It’s released when you check something off, like landing your first intubation in the field, crushing a workout, or taking that first glorious sip of coffee after a brutal night shift.

It fuels motivation, confidence, and pleasure. But it can also hijack your brain if you chase dopamine in all the wrong places, like booze, sugar, porn, or endlessly scrolling on social media.

For us in uniform, dopamine gets out of whack when we ignore the basics: proper meals, daily wins, and regular movement.

How to boost dopamine (in ways that won’t ruin your life):

• Eat something you enjoy and that fuels you

• Set a small goal, then hit it (start with “drink a damn glass of water”)

• Move your body.  Yes, even on your days off

• Clean your gear or your locker.  Yes, this counts

2. Oxytocin – The Connection Hormone

Oxytocin is the hormone that says, “You belong.” It floods in during hugs, quality time with people you love, and meaningful connections.  I love to get people to hug when I'm speaking on stage at conferences.  I'm the speaker, what are they gonna say, No? LOL.

But here’s the problem: in our world, isolation is everywhere, especially since 2020.  We hold the line for others while suffering in silence ourselves. We bury the pain, avoid deep talks, and pretend we’re fine.

Oxytocin can’t thrive in isolation. You need a connection — a real, human connection.

How to increase oxytocin (without becoming a Hallmark movie):

• Call a buddy you trust and talk about something real

• Hug your spouse, your kid, or your dog like you mean it

• Say thank you to someone and mean it

• Show up for someone else, even if you’re struggling yourself

3. Serotonin – The Stability Hormone

Serotonin helps regulate mood, sleep, appetite, and more. When serotonin is low, everything feels like an uphill battle.

This is where the sunlight and nutrition game matter more than you think. If you’re living off energy drinks, fast food, or gas station snacks and barely seeing daylight, your serotonin levels are screaming for help.

How to support serotonin (without becoming a health freak):

• Get 10–15 minutes of natural sunlight every day

• Eat tryptophan-rich foods like turkey, eggs, salmon, or nuts

• Walk outside if possible, yes, even just around the block

• Try breathing instead of smashing the vending machine button when it doesn't give you your chocolate bar.  You don't need it anyway.

4. Endorphins – Your Natural Painkillers

Endorphins are the reason you feel good after a workout (or at least not like total garbage). They're released in response to stress, pain, and you guessed it, movement.

But don’t wait until you’re burnt out to try and chase them. Daily movement is one of the fastest ways to regulate your mood, shift your mindset, and build resilience. You don’t need a fancy gym.  You just need to move consistently.  Talk to anyone after they exercise and ask them how they feel.  They will say "I feel great".

Ways to boost endorphins (without training for a triathlon):

• Bodyweight workouts on or off shift

• Go for a walk, fast enough to breathe heavier

• Laugh at something stupid (memes count)

• Listen to music that gets you fired up, not just angry

Why This All Matters

Your hormones run the show. If they’re out of sync, so are you.

The problem is, most first responders are running on fumes.  Caffeine highs, crap food, and sleep-deprived stress cycles. Then we wonder why we feel anxious, flat, or constantly on edge.

Want to feel better? Get your body and brain working with you, not against you.

That means:

• Fuel your body

• Move your body

• Connect with others

• Get outside and reset

It’s not rocket science. It’s biology. And it’s in your control.

Final Thoughts: Happiness Is a Habit

You’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re not beyond repair.

You’re just burned out, running on bad inputs, and disconnected from what your body needs.

The hormones of happiness aren’t some mystery, they’re a blueprint that lives inside you waiting to be unleashed.

Now go eat some real food, move your body, laugh at something dumb, and hug your kid or your spouse like your life depends on it, because in many ways, it does.

Stay Healthy.